MURMAIDER - an Angry Fish

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Apr 18 2009 ∞

Sins of a Solar Empire

I’ve been really busy as of late, what with homework and my recurring addiction to Sins of a Solar Empire. If you don’t know, Sins (as it is often called) is probably the best real time strategy game of all time. Yes, better than your favorite -arcraft. Better than Homeworld. The depth and scope of the game is just unbelievable and the game sucks me in for hours at a time.

Recently however, I’ve been noticing some bugs with my game. Occasionally, entire fleets will just stop and refuse to move, refuse all orders what-so-ever, for a period of like five or ten minutes. At first I reasoned that the crews of these ships were so overwhelmed with the horrors of war that they staged a peaceful rebellion and simply refused to keep fighting. Annoying, but whatever, it happens.

Then I noticed that ships would leave a planet’s gravity well, and go wandering about in the empty spaces between the various planets, stars and astronomical phenomenon. And once they were out there, there was no getting them to return, they would simply keep trolling the empty wastes, like they were attempting to jump from one system to the next, but forgot that they had that fancy phase jump capability. Perhaps the ships have run out of phase jump fuel or perhaps the crew has simply been driven mad and have collectively decided as a group to commit suicide out in the inky depths of space. Or perhaps the crew is dead and the ship is a drifting derelict, either way, I lose more ships to them wandering off than I do to combat.

And then the strangest thing happened, an entire fleet froze in place, and then each ship began to spin in the same direction, but not along one axis. The ships were spinning, in unison, in every which direction in a completely random and unpredictable way, never passing along the exact same axis twice. Perhaps some sort of hallucinogenic drug had been vented throughout the interior of this fleet, or perhaps the fleet’s admiral and captains were all fans of synchronized swimming and wanted to recreate the feat with a series of capital ships. Either way, I lost an entire fleet to this starship dancing, as they refused to obey any orders what-so-ever for the remainder of the game.

Perhaps I am the shittiest sins of a solar empire player ever, and the brave men and women under my command are trying to tell me something with their subtle refusals to follow orders. Or perhaps they are all insane and my computer has the first computer mental illness, in which it just does strangely fucked up things instead of how a normal sick computer acts, which is by vomiting up the blue screen of death. Which is happening regularly except when I’m running Mac OS X as Apple has the decency to not include a blue screen of death, which is why I’m not seeing one.

Regardless, I need to find a new video game to play, at least one where my average match time isn’t 14 hours.

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